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Story. Рассказы на английском


Кто хочет знать английский как англичанин, тот читает тут рассказы на настоящем королевском английском языке. В оригинале! . . По рекламе пишите @neznayca


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7 years ago Age

12/21/2021Added to the Index2/26/2017First post
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BLUNDERS An early morning customer in an optician's shop was a young woman with a determined air. She addressed the first salesman she saw. "I want to look at a pair of eyeglasses, sir, of extra magnifying power." "Yes, ma'am," replied the salesman; "something very strong?" "Yes, sir. While visiting in the country I made a very painful blunder which I never want to repeat." "Indeed! Mistook a stranger for an acquaintance?" "No, not exactly that; I mistook a bumblebee for a black-berry." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Читать английскую литературу в оригинале... unreal? 🕰 На бумажные книги нет времени, воспринимать длинный текст в телефоне неудобно, да и английский у меня так себе... Все эти проблемы решены в Twitter of J. Austen. Чтение мини фрагментами, с аудиоверсией 🎧 и переводом на русский. Пленительная атмосфера той самой Великобритании 👒🎩, английский юмор as it is. В метро, в парке, 5 минут перед сном. Уровень языка растет сам собой. Let's Make Reading Great Again!
Pat, thinking to enliven the party, stated, with watch in hand: "I'll presint a box of candy to the loidy that makes the homeliest face within the next three minutes." The time expired, Pat announced: "Ah, Mrs. McGuire, you get the prize." "But," protested Mrs. McGuire, "go way wid ye! I wasn't playin' at all." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The senator and the major were walking up the avenue. The senator was more than middle-aged and considerably more than fat, and, dearly as the major loved him, he also loved his joke. The senator turned with a pleased expression on his benign countenance and said, "Major, did you see that pretty girl smile at me?" "Oh, that's nothing," replied his friend. "The first time I saw you I laughed out loud!"—Harper's Magazine. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Каналов с картинками много, а с хорошим текстом мало. Историк и архитектор Анастасия ведет авторский канал SM_ART_HISTORY о культуре и истории Франции. 🇫🇷 Узнать факты из жизни Жанны д’Арк, пройтись по выставке Шагала, погулять по средневековому городу Ля Рошель ? Легко!
BAZARS Once upon a time a deacon who did not favor church bazars was going along a dark street when a footpad suddenly appeared, and, pointing his pistol, began to relieve his victim of his money. The thief, however, apparently suffered some pangs of remorse. "It's pretty rough to be gone through like this, ain't it, sir?" he inquired. "Oh, that's all right, my man," the "held-up" one answered cheerfully. "I was on my way to a bazar. You're first, and there's an end of it." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
Берём кредит в Тиньке и закрываем его особой кредиткой Альфы по которой не начисляются никакие проценты. Такая же схема есть с ипотекой. Пока одни смиренно смотрят на табло с курсом валют и неподъёмные кредиты, другие на этом зарабатывают. Например: покупают валюту дешевле официального курса, берут беспроцентные кредиты, получают по 80% кэшбека и почти бесплатно покупают на маркетплейсах. На деле таких лайфхаков даже больше, чем вы можете представить (и постоянно появляются новые) — узнать о них можно на канале Беспощадный Банкстер. Канал ведут сами сотрудники банков, так что инсайдов там много и все они надежные. Эти лазейки никогда не будут в открытом доступе, поэтому сохраните канал, их выкладывают только там: @bezposhady
In one of the lesser Indian hill wars an English detachment took an Afghan prisoner. The Afghan was very dirty. Accordingly two privates were deputed to strip and wash him. The privates dragged the man to a stream of running water, undressed him, plunged him in, and set upon him lustily with stiff brushes and large cakes of white soap. After a long time one of the privates came back to make a report. He saluted his officer and said disconsolately: "It's no use, sir. It's no use." "No use?" said the officer. "What do you mean? Haven't you washed that Afghan yet?" "It's no use, sir," the private repeated. "We've washed him for two hours, but it's no use." "How do you mean it's no use?" said the officer angrily. "Why, sir," said the private, "after rubbin' him and scrubbin' him till our arms ached I'll be hanged if we didn't come to another suit of clothes." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
A woman and her brother lived alone in the Scotch Highlands. She knitted gloves and garments to sell in the Lowland towns. Once when she was starting out to market her wares, her brother said he would go with her and take a dip in the ocean. While the woman was in the town selling her work, Sandy was sporting in the waves. When his sister came down to join him, however, he met her with a wry face. "Oh, Kirstie," he said, "I've lost me weskit." They hunted high and low, but finally as night settled down decided that the waves must have carried it out to sea. The next year, at about the same season, the two again visited the town. And while Kirstie sold her wool in the town, Sandy splashed about in the brine. When Kirstie joined her brother she found him with a radiant face, and he cried out to her, "Oh, Kirstie, I've found me weskit. 'Twas under me shirt." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы
The only unoccupied room in the hotel—one with a private bath in connection with it—was given to the stranger from Kansas. The next morning the clerk was approached by the guest when the latter was ready to check out. "Well, did you have a good night's rest?" the clerk asked. "No, I didn't," replied the Kansan. "The room was all right, and the bed was pretty good, but I couldn't sleep very much for I was afraid some one would want to take a bath, and the only door to it was through my room." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы